The Wellspring of Prayer

PG Warning:  I remember so well my romantic honeymoon getaway to Jamaica with my husband.  There are plenty of firework memories and hilarious stories we love to reminisce about, but the memory that will forever be etched on my heart is the prayer that my husband prayed with me in bed that first night over our future, forever intimate life together. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the fact that he brought prayer “into the bedroom” so to speak, set a powerful standard for the way prayer would be established as a foundation for our marriage and our home.  He is my favorite person to receive prayer from.  I’ve learned over the years to allow myself to be vulnerable with him, to share the fragile details of my heart, and to be real.  As a result, because he knows me so well, I feel safe and I love receiving prayer from him.  There is something beautifully intimate and redemptive about a husband and wife praying together, praying for each other and hearing each other pray.  Elliott and I have prayed through some intense, raw and real stuff over the twelve years we have been married.  I have witnessed many of these prayers answered, but even beyond this, I have experienced first-hand the fruit that has been released into our marriage just because we made it a point to come together to pray.

I view praying for my husband as a vital part of the ministry that I sow into my marriage.  As wives, we can be pretty in tune to our husband’s areas of weakness (I feel like I should insert an LOL here)... But seriously, we have a choice of what to do with this weighty information.  In our first few years of marriage, I felt my heart grow resentful about some of the weaknesses I saw in my husband, but somewhere along the line, I became inspired to instead let that information fuel my prayer life for him.  So now, whatever weakness or struggles that I see, I privately take that information into my time of prayer for him, and I begin to pray in and agree for a movement of the OPPOSITE qualities over his life.  Though it can be easy to complain and resent, nothing is more fruitful than partnering with Jesus and covering our husbands in their areas of greatest need.  It’s a powerful calling.  Our husbands need us to do this for them.  Isn’t that what we’d want them to do for us?  

Not only do I know the intricacies around the areas of need in my husband’s life, my covenant of marriage has also made me ONE with him (Genesis 2:24).   Because of this, I have authority like no one else to pray for protection, covering and blessing over His life.  As I pray for him, especially when I don’t feel like it, my heart is tenderized in love and friendship towards him. I pray for God to fill him with wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him (Ephesians 1:17). I pray that he would flourish in the gifts and abilities that God has put in him.  I pray for his mind, body and spirit to be fully alive, connected to Jesus and for him to be drawn into the place of communion with the Holy Spirit.  I pray for the Lord to deliver him from temptation and to set his feet on paths of righteousness.  I pray for the Lord to continue to unite us as one and to fill him with strength to be an invested and connected husband and father.  Something shifts in my heart when I pray for him, and I really need that shift in order to be a connected and loving wife! 

For my children, I pray so many things depending on the season of life and their needs.  I find the Apostolic prayers that come directly from the Word to be engaging and effective, so I love to pray those! Ephesians 3:16-19 is a great example:  “that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”  I pray, Lord, may my children know the width, length, depth and height of your love-let it be a love that they experience personally! Fill them with the fullness of God.

One area that I’m regularly praying into and believing for in faith is deep, lifelong friendship between my girls and daily camaraderie for them.  This is a power-packed prayer because it is an area that we see come under regular attack.  The enemy is always seeking to bring division in every way possible, especially in the family system, but I have been given the authority to stand in the gap in the place of prayer, partnering with Jesus to cover my children.  I pray prayers that declare harmony and love and come against any spirit of jealousy, unhealthy comparison and hate.  I believe that the more I stand in this place, I am preserving their days of friendship and making way for relationships that are rooted in the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. 

On those hard parenting days, if one of my daughters is throwing a tantrum, having a meltdown, or acting out with a bad attitude, I really try to first make it a point to ask them this question (even if it’s the last thing that I want to say): “Do you need to receive some love and prayer?”  This question diffuses the situation 90% of the time because that’s usually exactly what they do want!  Unless they are completely in a fit of rage (and even then sometimes), their body language changes almost immediately and they reach out for me.  I hold them and pray for them and share hugs and kisses, and I invite them to repent and pray for their own heart too.  Inviting children to pray teaches them so much!  They learn that they have this access anytime with or without a parent leading them.  They practice taking ownership of their own heart, emotional needs, and prayer life plus they learn to be vulnerable in a safe place.  I ask my girls daily if they have any prayer needs or if anything or anyone is on their heart to pray for, and we pray!  I’m also in the habit of letting my kids hear me pray OUT LOUD throughout the day.  I might be calling out for Jesus to help me in weak moments, praying for a friend, praying for my husband, praying Bible verses over myself, them, and others, or inviting the Holy Spirit into whatever we are doing together. I might even be singing my prayers! I just want praying aloud to be normal.  I want to teach them to dialogue with Jesus.  I want to teach them to pray!    

As often as I can, I sneak into the bedroom after my girls have fallen asleep, and I pray what I call the warfare prayers.  These are the intercessory prayers of protection, covering and breakthrough for their hearts, minds and lives!  As parents, we carry the discernment and authority to pray into particular areas that we know they need covered.  If I’m unsure what to pray, I ask the Holy Spirit for direction and I ask myself these questions:  What are they walking through right now, what are they dealing with, and are they struggling in any area?  Nothing is too small or great.  Whether it’s lifting up eating or sleeping habits or praying for freedom in an area of their heart, the Holy Spirit always shows me how to pray.  These moments in their room while they sleep are some of my most favorite prayer times. I pray that they would give their lives to Jesus at a remarkably early age.  I pray that they would follow Him wholeheartedly all of their days.  I pray that they would learn to fix their eyes on Jesus daily.  I pray that they would be drawn into friendship and fascination with Him and be filled with His Holy Spirit.  I pray that they would be rooted and grounded in truth.  I pray that they would know and experience the love of God in a tangible way.  I pray that God would give them dreams and visions of Him as they sleep.  I pray for a hedge of protection around them.    

Towards the end of this prayer time, I love to transition slightly and direct all of my prayers for my own three children that I just prayed and then release them over every child in my neighborhood.  I pray for protection, salvation and love for every child on my street.  I believe we are called to not only cover our own children but to also cover the children who may not have anyone else covering them right next door to us. 

As I position myself in faithful, intimate prayer with and for my husband and children, the Father brings healing to our root systems and establishes us from this wellspring of prayer as a healthy-hearted home. When prayer overflows from the deep wells of the family… revival comes to the family.